Radio Nowhere
by Elissahara30
Summary: This is my AU take on Season 4, there are some spoilers so be warned! Dean and Sam try to head off the end of the world.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer – I do not own Dean or Sam and if I did hmmm the possibilities. The characters are the property of the CW and Kripke.**_

Radio Nowhere

By Elissahara30

Neither prosperity nor empire nor heaven can be worth winning at the price of a virulent temper, bloody hands, an anguished spirit, and a vain hatred of the rest of the world. -_John Milton_

The rain poured down in heavy torrents making a tink, tink sound like the staccato of gun fire as it hit the side of the metal building. The cracked windows were dark, cold air creeping in at every opportunity like long sharp fingers digging into the skin. The night felt different, harder, darker and lonelier. Dean Winchester sat in the corner with his sawed off shot gun resting in his lap next to the bible at his knee. The salt lines unbroken against the door and what remained of the window.

Little protection from what waited out there and out there was the unknown. Not that Dean was afraid of the unknown it was part of his job one that he had been trained his entire life to do. Dean had learned a lot from his father and among those lessons was how to survive. He sat waiting for day break, but even in the daylight there was no guarantee that evil couldn't touch him. Because sometimes it still found a person no matter what you did or who you were in the world. But nighttime seemed to amplify how screwed you were, and Dean knew he was thoroughly screwed.

He remembered telling Sam that what was dead needed to stay dead and he was relieved in a way that he only had one year to live before the demons came for his soul. Dean had lived past his expiration date a long time ago. First when he was electrocuted and Sam had taken Dean to the faith healer who had a Reaper on a leash. And than again when his father had made his own deal with the devil in order to prevent Dean from dying again. Yeah Dean knew he needed to be dead and burning in hell.

Hell. Dean briefly closed his eyes as the nightmare flitted about his memories. As he sat in the dark abandoned warehouse his heart started beating faster and faster and his body shook. He swallowed convulsively as he tried to clear out the phantom thirst as he remembered screaming, the fear and the soul deep pain. But here he was alive again. He had only the cloths he was buried in and what the hell was Sammy thinking in not burning his corpse. It's what you did to avoid angry spirits. If it wasn't for the way he could still bleed and the way hunger licked at his stomach, and his heart beating in his chest told him that he was really alive. When he first woke up in the coffin he was almost afraid that Sam had tried to conjure him up from the dead.

Dean had tried to contact Sam, dialing his phone but the number was disconnected. It wasn't until he got to a closed gas station did he find out how long he had been gone. One year and the world had changed without Dean and all Dean can think about was his brother was gone. Dean had tried to get in contact with Bobby without any luck.

It wasn't long before an angel from God had come to him. The man who had stood before him didn't look like an angel at least not from any book. Missing where the white angelic wings and glowy halo. No benevolent speech or gentle smiles. Instead stood a man in a suit and tan trench coat, all dark plains and shadows that reminded Dean of people who had been possessed by demons. The angel declared his name was Castiel and that he had reached down into the pits of Hell and dragged Dean's soul out.

"Why," Dean had asked. After all Dean thought his destiny was to become a demon himself like all the other lost souls sent to hell.

"God has plans for you Dean," Castiel had told him.

"Yeah and what plans are those?" Dean demanded, because from where Dean stood God had let Dean down a long time ago.

"I will be to see you again." And Castiel had disappeared.

That was seven days ago.

Dean had never felt so lost and alone his entire life. Before he died he had his father, brother and Bobby. They were his constants in life, now they were gone and he was alone. Dean had never admitted to anyone how much he needed his family, and how far he would go to protect them and keep them alive. All his life he knew he needed his family more than they ever needed him.

And a vicious part of him wondered if his brother ever mourned his passing or celebrated being free of him again. Dean leaned his head back against the cold wall and breathed in a shaky breath.

"Damn it man this is not getting me anywhere," Dean said to himself. Dean reached into his leather jacket and pulled out the stale candy bar he had lifted out of the gas station and tore it open. "I am so getting tired of this shit," he grumbled around his bite of caramel and chocolate.

"Do you often talk to yourself?" said a voice coming from the shadows.

"Fuck," Dean said as he raised his shot gun and looked around himself.

A figure moved around the dark room and stood before the broken window, Dean raised his hand because the glare was so bright he couldn't look at it straight on. With a final burst of light that hit him square in the chest Dean fell into the blackness.

3


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer – I do not own Dean or Sam and if I did hmmm the possibilities. The characters are the property of the CW and Kripke.**_

Radio Nowhere 02

By Elissahara30

Dean's eyes fluttered open to the low murmur of voices around him. His body ached all over and damn if what ever had hit him must have burnt at least a couple layers of skin off his body. Dean tried to sit it only to discover that his hands and ankles were strapped down to the hard bed underneath him. He looks around himself and finds that he is in a hospital room, the TV on low showing info commercial on something that looks suspiciously like the thigh master.

Dean worked on trying to get his hands loose from the bed because this was not right. A nurse came in and rushed to his side, "Mr. Winchester you're going to hurt yourself unless you calm down right now."

"Fuck that," Dean growled, "get these things off of me now!"

"Settle down or I will be forced to sedate you!" the nurse growled right back as she pressed down on Dean's chest.

"How in the hell did I get here? Where am I?" Dean insisted as he fought the nurse and his bindings holding him down. "Get off me bitch."

"Dean Winchester that is no way to speak to your nurse," a stern female voice reprimanded him.

Dean froze as his heart beat ratcheted up and he turned his head to the left and there stood in the doorway that he hadn't noticed before was his mother. With an ache that was so old that no amount of years had ever healed the wound of loosing his mother. "Mom?" He whispered.

The woman walked closer to him and looked at the nurse who backed off, "I'm here sweetheart," she said quietly.

Tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes and ran down the side of his head as he looked at the one person he missed more than anyone. "This isn't real," he said because he's already lived this day dream.

Green hazel eyes a mirror of his own saddened as she looked down, "Oh Dean," she touched the side of his face and he closed his eyes at the warm touch and his throat tightened threatening to choke him.

"You can't be real," he continued, "You died."

Mary Winchester looked over at the nurse who wandered further away from them as she brought in a tray. "Listen to me Dean, you need to stop talking like this, your father and I are just trying to get you help. We'll do everything we can to get you out of here."

"Dad?" Dean asked just as stunned as seeing his mother had been, because his father had been dead for three years.

"He's contacting Dr. Nickels," she said. Dean had never heard of a Dr. Nickels in his life and wondering where in his mind that he was manufacturing the name. Was it like Carmen? Was this like the vision that was produced by Djinn? Was that was in the empty building that attacked him?

"What happened?" he asked, trying to wrap his mind around the new nightmare he found himself trapped.

Mary looked down as she smoothed out imaginary wrinkles on the light blanket covering Dean, "You . . . you had a mental breakdown," she said quietly.

_Mental breakdown,_ considering how lost he felt for the last seven days a mental breakdown wasn't that far off the mark. "What now?"

Mary averted her eyes, "Right now we're not sure. Just hold tight and we'll figure a way to get you out. I promise Dean."

The nurse came forward then and looked at Mary, "Its time for his medication Mrs. Winchester."

Dean looked up at the nurse as she held the syringe, "What the hell is that?"

"Just something to help you get better."

"Screw that lady, you're not going to stick me with anything until I get some answers here," Dean started his struggles all over again.

"Dean!" His mother called, "You need to cooperate with them."

The wrist restraint on his right arm snapped and with all the skill and strength he possessed Dean pushed the nurse out of the way and undid his left arm. Mary tried to stop him but Dean shoved her back as hard as he could, because no matter how much this person looked like his mother, she wasn't real. Dean reached forward and undid his feet and once his feet where on solid ground again he made his way out of the room.

The corridor outside the room was empty and Dean stopped himself as a sudden bought of vertigo came over him. He turned around and the room behind him was gone, nothing but empty wall.

Dean turned right and walked down the long empty corridor, a cold feeling of déjà vu washed over him. He's done this before, walking empty corridors along a hospital. He stopped and for a brief moment he thought he heard rain pattering against windows? He followed the sound around and around and then opened a door to a set of stairs and he climbed up toward the sound. He stopped before the very last door wondering what he'll find on the other side.

Reaching out he turned the knob and stepped through the door.

"Welcome Dean," called a quiet gentle voice behind him.

Dean turned around and gone was the stairwell and door, now he found himself in a sunny wood glad. A soft breeze stirred the leaves of the ash trees that circled the meadow area. Right in the middle of the grassy area sat a white table and two chairs with tea service. In the occupied chair sat a woman with bright red hair and her dress shimmered in different shades of green and blue. She picked up the tea pot and said, "Please join me for a cup of tea."

Dean stood his ground and crossed his arms, "I don't think so," he growled.

The woman smiled gently at him, "You looked so lonely in the warehouse," she poured tea into the cups and set one before the empty chair in front of her, "And when I brought you to me, I did not expect the vision that sprung up before in your mind."

"What are you?" He crossed his arms as he looked around himself trying to gage what was real and what was simply in his own mind.

"I have many names," she said quietly as she reached for her cup, "And I have many forms."

"So what you're bleeding my body dry while I stand in here talking to you." He accused.

The woman's hands stopped as she lifted the tea cup to her red lips, her muddy blue eyes looking over at him. "You've been exposed to evil so long Dean that you only expect pain and heart ache. You question every miracle and little bit of faith that people have in this world."

"In my profession I've seen very little that has made me a believer of fluffy bunnies and cute puppies if that's what you're getting at," Dean said.

She set her cup down, "I am Euri, and I have been waiting a long time to meet with you again."

"We've met before?" he raised his eyebrow skeptically.

"I have never met Dean before no, but I do know you," she said.

Dropping his arms to the sides he asked, "What?"

She pointed to the empty seat again, "Please join me and I will explain everything."

He cautiously made his way over to the table and sat down on the empty chair, but he refused to drink the tea not trusting what might be in it. He waived his hand at Euri, "Alright I'm here now. Explain."

She smiled at him indulgently dimples creasing her cheeks as she picked up her tea and took a sip, "I am the spirit of the rain," she said "and I have been apart of this world since its creation. In my time I have witnessed so many changes some good and some heart breaking and at times I despaired."

"Wait, wait, you're a spirit of rain what kind of crap is that?" Dean wrinkled his forehead as he leaned forward, "You're drowning me right now is that it, I'm your sacrifice aren't I?"

Euri rolled her eyes as she set the cup down on the saucer, "No Dean I don't need sacrifice or worship. I am about renewal Dean, cleansing and reincarnation. I have been waiting for you for over a thousand years. I have been praying for your return because the signs have all started again and here you are reborn. Castiel was commanded to pull you out of Hell to lead us."

"Whoa, whoa back the truck up, to lead you? What kind of crazy shit is this? I am not fit to lead anyone anywhere," Dean said.

Euri looked past him lost in her minds eye, "I remember this warrior who took up God's mantle and fought the evil hordes that tried to sweep the land. His iron sword and faith lead him to victory in that time." Her eyes focused on him, "He was good man who had lost everything but his faith. That man was you Dean and I was commanded to bring you back in this time when it looked like the darkness what getting stronger again."

"I hate to break it to you sister but I lost my faith a long time ago," he said. "And I don't believe in any of this reincarnation crap either."

She leaned forward and reached out and took Dean's hand in hers. Her touch was cool and soft as silk. "You only have forgotten is all. When you made your deal with the crossroads demon I despaired thinking I had brought you back too soon. But God's angel reached out and plucked you from hell because even God recognized who you are Dean Winchester."

Dean shifted in his seat as he looked down at their clasp hand, "I'm nothing," he whispered.

"You are our human champion Dean. You have abilities and strengths that we lack; the human soul is capable of so much that limits the rest of us. I have faith in you." She said.

Dean pulled his hand out of her grasp, "What about Sam?"

Something unreadable flickered in her eyes, "Sam must fallow his own destiny."

"You know I am so tired of every Demon, Human, spirit or whatever saying that kind of bullshit to me," Dean stood up and paced away from the table. "I made a commitment to save Sam a long time ago and I plan on keeping my promises to him."

"And here you tell me you lack faith," Euri challenged. "You have faith Dean and conviction and strength all you have to do is focus. You have always believed in saving the innocent and sparing people from the pain you had to shoulder. You have a large compactly to love Dean."

"This conversation is over," Dean said. "Send me back right now."

"Your brother is in Memphis. You'll find him there." She said quietly.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You feel the need to go to him, but be aware Dean, Sam has changed."

Dean awoke to find that he was still in the abandoned building. He scrubbed his hand against his face and noticed two things. It was no longer raining and it was daylight outside.

5


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer – I do not own Dean or Sam and if I did hmmm the possibilities. The characters are the property of the CW and Kripke.**_

Radio Nowhere 03

By Elissahara30

The noise was a whirlwind of pain; it tore over and through you. The heat seared Dean all at once and fear was constant and if he had a physical heart he would die over and over again. Screams of despair and laughter intermingled like a psychotropic drug ripping his mind apart and nowhere, anywhere was there an escape.

Hands would ghost over him and under him, hands that pulled and probed and invaded. The blood ran like rain down Dean's face and it stained the copper tang was so thick it permeated in the mouth, and eyes the dark dead eyes that stared at him without blinking.

Nets made out of muscle and bone strung across every open area and only those who succumbed to the darkness were ever able to move free. Dean felt agony as the whip like strands tore at him trying to rend him to pieces.

And the same question day in and day out, and the same answer he gave until the end, until he couldn't hold on anymore.

Dean startled awake when the bus pulled into the bus station in Memphis.

"Sorry," he mumbled to the guy next him as he tried to get a grip on himself. He sat up and stretched as best he could as he reached down and pickup his back pack. If his hands shook a little he didn't pay any attention to it.

Dean stood up and waited as the passengers exited the bus and made their way to the terminal. He hated riding the bus, hell he hadn't been without wheels since he was sixteen years old and his dad had given him the keys to the Impala.

Dean hoped that Sam had taken care of his car, because the 1967 Impala was more than just a car. Dean had grown up in that car; he learned how it worked and how to keep her tuned. And Dean had a lot of first time memories tide to that car, because it meant home more than any house ever could. That car was as much apart of himself as his soul.

He made his way over to an old diner adjacent to the bus station. Without having any of his credit cards or ready cash it was hard just getting to Memphis and man it would blow if Sam had left before he even got here. Dean entered the diner and like every other place across America it was old, greasy and the patrons tired and worn looking.

Dean sat himself down in one of the empty booths and pulled the newspaper out of his jacket and spread it out on the table. He tried to puzzle out why Sam would come here in the first place because no matter what anyone thought Elvis was not haunting anyone or anything and he was tired of the ghost hunter wannabes who said he was still out here.

He skimmed over the news stories looking for the oddities he was trained to recognize. He sighed in frustration when the waitress came to his booth. He ordered a coffee and a piece of pie and continued to look without much luck.

"You keep looking at the paper any harder your going to give yourself a headache," said a young woman as she slid in the booth across from Dean.

He looked up ready to tell the person to take a hike when he paused. She was the most exotic woman he had ever seen, large brown almond shaped eyes looked out at him from dark mocha latté' skin and coppery brown hair, that peaked out of her blue scarf on her head. She gave Dean a crooked smile as she reached her hand across the table, "My name's Basira."

Dean took her hand, "Dean," he said. He let go of her hand and sat back in the booth and rested his arms along the back in a forced relax sprawl. "So what brought you to my table?" he gives her on of his patented blinding smiles, all charm and sex appeal for added benefit. When the waitress returned with his order he turned his smile to her and she stuttered for a moment and smiled right back at him. He couldn't help it when the waitress walked away and man did she have a pert little rear.

Basira huffed out a laugh under her breath, "No one warned me you were going to be so good looking when I took this assignment."

Dean abruptly came to attention and leaned forward, his demeanor changing from casual cool to pure menace, he growled under his breath, "Who the hell are you?"

She shook her head, "Not hell Dean," she pointed up and smirked at him.

"What is it with you guys, you stalking me or what?" He hissed out trying not to gain the attention of the other patrons of the diner.

"Oh, yes because I just want to hang out with your disbelieving soul all day long." She snarked back, "I'm the only one equipped the blend in with the other humans so deal okay."

"No I don't think so," He threw a few dollars on the table and started to slid out of the booth when Basira grips his arm tightly and he's caught up in her dark gaze, her eyes flashing brightly before settling down again.

"The angels are busy fighting the war Dean;" she says urgently, "Otherwise your God wouldn't need my help at all. He rarely commands the 'others'," she says bitterly, "to do anything for him, but this situation is beyond what any of our kind had anticipated."

"So what are you?" He asked still very wary and wishing for the comfort of his 1921 Colt loaded with silver bullets.

"Relax Dean; I'm one of the good guys so eat your pie." She scooted the pie at Dean and smiled. She then gave him a contemplative look, "I can help you find Sam."

Dean frowned as he took a bite of his pie, "That Euri chick already told me Sam was in Memphis."

Basira raised her eyebrows but didn't comment further, "I can take you straight to Sam." She tapped the paper in front of Dean, "Without needing to find him by other means."

"So what you going to do wave your hand and make us appear at Sam's door," Dean said as he waved his fork around.

Basira reached into her pocket and pulled out a set of car keys and slapped them down on the table. "Yeah it's this not so new invention called an automobile."

Dean grimaced, "You think you're funny."

"I know I'm funny," she said as Dean finished his last bite, "Ready to see Sam?"


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer – I do not own Dean or Sam and if I did hmmm the possibilities. The characters are the property of the CW and Kripke.**_

Radio Nowhere 03

By Elissahara30

Basira and Dean pulled in front of an old two story apartment building. She turned of the car and sat quietly with Dean while he looked at the building. "You sure he's here?"

"You don't have to go in Dean. Sam doesn't need to know you're here," Basira said softly.

"What kind of shit is that," Dean frowned, "I have to let Sam know I'm back."

"No Dean you don't," Basira argues, "You can let it be and let Sam be and move on."

Dean turned angrily toward Basira. , "There is no way that I'm going to leave Sam alone again. If you don't like it you can just go on your merry way and leave me the hell alone."

Basira raised her hands in a placating manner, "Alright we'll go, but Dean you have to be aware that Sam's changed."

Dean didn't comment as he opened the car door and made his way into the building leaving Basira behind. She rolled her eyes and got out of the car and followed Dean inside the two story walk up and past him as the made their way up the stairs. Basira indicated that Sam was in room 302 and Dean hesitated a minute before he knocked on the door. He braced himself for seeing his brother for the first time in ten days, but in the back of his mind knew that it's been a year for Sam.

The came open but instead of seeing his brother there stood a short brunette in nothing but a T-shirt and underwear. "Yeah," she said.

Blinking his eyes Dean closed his mouth and was about to ask for Sam, when Basira just pushed the girl into the room and pulled Dean into the room behind her. "We're looking for Sam Winchester," Basira said and Dean almost back away at the look of pure loathing on Basira. 's face toward the petite woman in front of them.

The brunette crossed her arms, "He's not here. What ever business you have you'll have to come back some other time."

Basira is about to get in the young woman's face when everyone stopped and turned as Sam came into the room. He held a gun up and said, "What the hell is going on!"

"Sammy," Dean breaths out as he tries to get around Basira to Sam, but stops as Basira plants her palms to Dean's chest and just holds him steady. Dean looks down at Basira but she holds firm keeping herself between Dean and the rest of the room.

"Who are you?" growls Sam his whole body just radiating anger and accusation. The young burnet backs away, but still hovers close to Sam.

"It's me Sammy," Dean says quietly spreading his arms wide, "I'm back."

Confusion, grief and anger fought for control on Sam's face. Sam lowers his gun hand slightly before he raises it again. Sam reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a thin flask and tosses it to Dean, "Drink!" he commands. "Both of you."

Dean unscrews the lid and opens and takes a healthy swig of the holy water inside. Nothing happened and he was relieved because he believed it when Castiel told him that his soul was saved from hell but he still couldn't wrap his mind around any of it. Not taking his eyes off Sam, Dean handed the flask over to Basira and she took a healthy swig before giving it back to Dean.

Sam lowered his gun and just stood there staring at Dean. "Dean," Sam half sobbed before he took on tentative step forward.

Dean smiles sadly at Sam and says, "Dude, no chick moments please."

And in all a rush Sam marches forward and grabs Dean up into a bear hug and laughs and cries at the same time. Dean hugs Sam just as fiercely and then patting his back roughly as they pull apart from one another. Dean turned his head away as he scrubbed tears off his face all the while pretending they weren't there to begin with.

Sam just stares at Dean with wonder on his face, "How man?"

"Can you believe an angel pulled me out of the pit and here I am?" Dean didn't pay attention to the fact that the little brunette twitched or that Basira moved that she was still covering Dean's back.

Sam looked over Dean's shoulder to Basira. , "Who are you?"

"Oh yeah ah . . . this is Basira and she's . . ." Dean swirls his hands in the air and just looks at Basira.

"A fucking fravartin," hisses the young woman behind Sam. Dean shoots Basira a confused look before turning back to the fiery young woman in the room.

Sam turns to the woman and Basira steps closer to Dean, "Sucks to be you doesn't it, you demon whore," Basira spits.

"Ruby," Sam warns as the brunette bristles.

Dean clenches his teeth, "Ruby? Sam? What the fuck?"

"Well you weren't here Dean, what did you expect him to do?" Ruby said she gave him her best grin, "Someone had to get Sam ready for what's coming."

"I didn't ask you bitch?" Dean said as he moved more aggressively toward Ruby.

"Dean," Sam warned as he moved between Ruby and Dean, "Stop it," then he turned to Ruby, "Leave Dean alone."

Ruby turns around and her brown eyes were all black and a sudden sick fear crept into Dean's stomach. He wasn't aware that he moved back until he felt Basira's hand on his arm grounding him in the here and now. Sam looks to Ruby and frowned at her and she smirked at Dean ignoring Sam.

"What's a fravartin?" Dean asked as he glanced back at Basira.

"I'm an angel," Basira said evenly, "And more importantly I'm your angel Dean. So Sam tell your demon to back off or I will make her back off."

Dean turns toward Basira, "What?"

She waves him off, "Not now Dean," she points Sam, "Just go talk to your brother."

Dean turns and gives Sam a tentative smile. If feels too tight against his skin. Right now everything feels too tight and having Ruby here with his brother makes him heart ache. Dean wants to ask so many questions, but all he can do is just wait for Sam to make the first move, because right now Dean's too lost to come up with anything.

"Why don't we get something to eat and talk," Sam suggests.

"Sure that sounds great," Dean smiles and than looks at Basira, "You'll hang around while I go with my brother?"

Basira looks at Ruby and scowls like she stepped in something nasty. "I think I'll catch up with you later because the stench in here is a bit much for me thanks."

"Whatever dude," Dean says as Sam leads him out of the apartment. There's a lot going through Dean's head and right now he just has to make sure his brother okay and that nothing permanent had damaged him while Dean's been gone.

Dean smiles when he sees the Impala and he can't help but run his hands along the hood and he looks to make sure that the body and paint are still solid. For a brief moment he almost asks Sam to pop the hood so he can take a look underneath. "Looks like you've been taking good care of my baby," Dean says.

Dean turns and frowns at Sam. Sam just standing there staring at Dean with his hands in his pockets all scrunched up and tense. "Dude, what's with you man?"

"Seriously Dean, I mean you've been in dead in hell for a year. What do you expect from me?" Sam frowned at Dean. Dean takes a step toward his brother and Sam looks away, "I watched you die Dean and there was nothing I could do to change that and . . ."

"Sammy, I'm so sorry," Dean said softly. He walks until he's close to Sam but didn't reach out and touch him. "If I knew any other way, you know I would have taken it."

"But there were ways Dean . . . you just didn't want to take them." Sam said still not looking at his brother.

"No Sam, I wasn't about to let you make the same mistake I did, and I wasn't about to comprise all I believed in, in order to escape going to hell." Dean looked down at his feet then away.

"But Dean . . ." Sam started.

Dean looked Sam dead on, "No Sam, there isn't any buts _ever_." Dean then reached out to Sam, "Give me the keys."

Sam gritted his teeth and fished the keys out of his jacket and tossed them over to Dean and then just walked past him to the car. Dean went around to the drives side and opened the door and eased himself behind the wheel, "Oh yeah this is what I'm talking about," he turned over the ignition and closed his eyes in sweet bliss as the Impala roared to life. For a brief minute Dean's world shifted and everything missing the past ten days were back right were they were supposed to be, him in his car and Sam by his side. All that was missing was a hunt and then, then Dean thought he might come out alright after all.

"Dean?" Sam asked.

"Yeah Sam," he said as he eased the car into traffic and kept an eye out for a good diner.

Sam fidgeted next to Dean reaching forward and turning the station over to country before switching it again to something more contemporary, "What was hell like?"

Dean swerved the steering wheel before getting back into his lane, "Jesus Sam, don't ask questions like that while I'm driving."

Sam looked out the window and then turned toward Dean, his eyes wary, "Are you really okay?"

Dean concentrated on the road and seeing a diner ahead switched his blinker on and pulled into the parking lot. He turned off the car and sat there for a long time. He turned and looked at Sam, "Everything's fine Sam."

By the look on Sam's face Dean can tell Sam didn't buy into it, but he didn't ask anymore questions for the time being. "So what brings you to Memphis? Working a job?"

Sam reached for the car door and headed for the diner. Dean sat there a moment stunned when he scrambled for the door to go after Sam. "Sam? Sam! What the fuck man?" Dean said as he caught up with Sam, reaching out and grabbed Sam's arm and spun him around.

"Drop it Dean," Sam said.

"Drop what, I just asked a question why you are being defensive? Dude what's crawled up your ass?" Dean thought of Ruby and Dean's been gone for a year. And the thought of Sam being alone with Ruby for a year made something slick and painful roll in his stomach. Sudden thoughts of shadowy hands on his body and eyes that never blinked made Dean stumble.

"Dean?" Sam reached out and grabbed Dean as Dean slid down. "Talk to me, Dean?"

"I'm fine," Dean pushed out of Sam's grip and straightened his jacket, "It's nothing okay so . . . dude just let it go."

Sam pursed his lips as he backed off, he turned leaving Dean on the curb outside and made his way into the diner. Dean rested his hand on the hood of the Impala and used the heat of the top to ground him. He breathed in deeply and stood up straight, squared his shoulders and walked into the diner. He walked with purpose as he sat across from his brother. Dean took a minute to absorb his brother's stiff posture as Sam pretended to be looking at the menu.

Dean looked out the window and frowned at the blue Honda parked across the street. He growled under his breath as Basira waved to him through the car window. Sam put down his menu and looked out toward the car and then looked at Dean, "So you have your own angel?"

Dean hunched his shoulders as he sat back into the booth and looked at his brother trying to figure out what would be a safe topic without pissing either of them off. "Heard from Bobby?"

Sam sighed as he folded his hands on top of the table and tilted his head forward, "Yeah I talked to him a couple months back." A guilty expression flashes across his face, "I've been avoiding him for a while since well . . . you know."

Dean didn't like that Sam had been avoiding Bobby, and had hopped that Sam would have stayed his Bobby after he had died. "I tried calling him and no one answered the phone."

Sam sat up and scrunched eyebrows, "Really?"

Rolling his eyes Dean said, "Really." Dean looked out the window again, "About Basira I just met her today. There's been . . . stuff happening to me since I got back."

Sam smiled at Dean for the first time, "But Dean you were saved by angels. I mean angels Dean! I feel like every prayer I've had since you've been gone has finally bean answered."

"Well Castiel wasn't all that chatty and I'm still not sure about Basira," Dean conceded, "Than of course there was Euri."

"Dude, you're kinda losing me here," Sam said.

Dean smiled lightly as he looked up at Sam, "Is it possible to have more than one life?"

Sam crossed his arms over his chest as he regarded Dean, "You mean as in reincarnation?"

"Yeah that's exactly what I mean," Dean said quietly.

"You can find stories of reincarnation in almost every religion," Sam said, "Even Christianity."

Dean nodded his head, "Seems like I've been around before," he waved his hand around, "I mean not me, but me like my soul . . . you know what I'm sayin'"

Sam leaned forward intense fascination all over his face and Dean worked hard on not fidgeting in his seat and reached out and picked up the menu and pulled it open.

"Well I guess pulling you out of Hell could be considered reincarnation, and not reanimation of a corpse." Sam said thoughtfully.

"Dude," Dean grimaced in distaste, "And I don't mean my time below. I've been . . .," Dean waved his hand, "Well I've been alive before like a thousand years ago."

"How do you know?" Sam asked.

"This chick or spirit or whatever called herself Euri, told me. Said she brought me back because," Dean pointed down, "knew something was brewing so to speak."

"Uh huh," Sam responded as he sat back again, "And you believed her?

"Don't have a whole lot else to go on Sam," Dean said. "Now are you going to clue me in what you're doing here?"

Sam's face clouded again, "Had tracked a group of demons here, finished the job was getting ready to move on again."

Something Sam wasn't saying sat heavily with Dean, but right now he needed know other information, "So Ruby?"

Sam shrugged his shoulders, "She found me a couple months after . . . you know," Sam said, "She's been helping with hunting demons since Indiana."

"Dose Bobby know?" Because something else, something Dean did not want to think about curled thickly around his chest.

Sam averted his eyes toward the car where Basira was watching, "No."

"Jesus," Dean swore because he just couldn't shake the wrongness of his little brother hanging out with a demon, hunting other demon's and hell the package that Ruby was in now? Dean didn't want to think any further about it, because he knew damn it, he knew his brother couldn't leave his emotions in check for long.

"What do we do now?" Sam asked.

And that was it, the whole problem. What can Dean and Sam do now? Dean knew what he wanted; he wanted things to back to the way they were, before. He wanted to hit the road and hunt evil. But one major bitter lesson Dean has learned his whole life is that he knew he never got what he wanted unless he paid a heavy price, and Dean didn't know if he could keep paying anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer – I do not own Dean or Sam and if I did hmmm the possibilities. The characters are the property of the CW and Kripke.**_

Radio Nowhere 05

By Elissahara30

"Why are you with me? Really?" Dean asked Basira as they sat in a cheap motel room. Dean kept looking out the window hoping Sam will make up his mind soon and decide to go out and hunt with Dean again.

"I told you," Basira said.

"Yeah God commanded you to be here. But why?" Dean said as he started biting the cuticles of his nails, "Because I can handle things on my own."

"From what I know you can't handle much of anything on your own." Basira laughed sadly, "If Castiel had not come for you, and then things would have been a lot worse."

"You don't know anything about me," Dean bit out.

Basira leveled Dean with a serious look, "You would be surprised about what I know about you Dean Winchester."

He sat up and got in her face, "Then tell me what you think you know?"

"Do you really want to go down this road Dean? Because you might not like what you find out." Basira challenged.

"I'm right here sister, lay it one me," Dean stood up and spread his arms wide; "I've got nothing better to do right now anyway."

Basira walked into his personal space and Dean didn't back up and he looked into Basira's eyes and Dean saw the universe swirl around her eyes. His body and the world just seemed to fall away, "Long ago you had another name, another purpose. And your failure then scarred your soul and it impression remains for all days." Basira raised her hand and touched Dean's temple and with terrible acuity images, but not image started raging through his mind.

Dean shook his head, "This doesn't mean anything to me." But as Dean continued to stare into Basira's eyes something in the far reaches of his mind stirred and it made him back up, "No," he said.

Sense memory swarmed over as he remembered the smell of an old world that in this of this carnation of his before that _this _aspect of Dean had never been too. Dean remembers sweet softness and the bluest eyes in creation. He can feel her breath against his skin and their child growing in her belly. His wife, the woman he loved more than breathing.

He remembers pain and darkness and the dark creatures that roamed the earth without consequence. And his son lost to that very darkness and the rage and anger that flowed through his veins. The thirst for revenge for what was wrought onto him pain and bitterness and another loss, his wife gone to despair.

The loss of their only child drove her to make the deal. The demon that made a child that was lost awake again. His child with the black eyes that offered promise and poison in the same breath, the boy dealt out death in the small village they lived in. The blood of his wife on his son's hands greeted at the door.

Deep sadness wrapped around him in its tired embrace. A prayer sent to heaven asking for grace. Asking for strength and forgiveness and the ability to save what was left of his clan. The strength to destroy is child. Memories of the light, so blinding, leaving him stunned. It burned through him, the pain a welcome distraction from his blinding grief. The light of truth of heaven marked his soul and left him in pieces, because something that pure was never meant to be seen.

And a sword made from the powers of heaven. It was made for his hands. A sword from God so like the shepherd staff that belonged to Moses. And with it, he fought and won against the darkness, he slay the demon that possessed his child and cried as the boys blood ran down his hands. And it rained that day and Euri came forth and picked up the tattered pieces of his soul and waited for another time to put him back together again.

Pushing back away from Basira, Dean stumbled back onto the bed behind him.

"I'm so sorry Dean," Basira reached out and Dean turned away, stood up and walked further away.

"It can't be true," he said as a sudden chill swept over his skin, "That never happened."

"It's a legacy Dean. You put forth the foundations that kept the darkness at bay before you died your wrote a journal and told you tail. But in doing so, the others knew to watch for a time to come again. Do you think what happened to Sam was a just by chance? Do you really think Azazel chose Sam randomly? Your son was his Azazel's and so again the cycle has come back."

Dean walked toward the door and turned the knob only to find that it wouldn't open. "Let me out!"

"You are needed Dean," Basira pleaded, "You are so necessary to us . . . to . . . to this world that you just don't want to see it."

"We are not the same," Dean said between clenched teeth.

"Yes you are," She said quietly, "You are _chosen_ Dean."

"What about Sam?" he asked as he looked out the window and saw the headlights from the Impala and this time the door opened.

"He must fulfill his own destiny, whatever that may be," Basira called after him.

"What fucking bull shit!" Dean yelled over his shoulder as he walked out. Dean stood under the overhang as he waited for Sam to get out of the car.

And the one person Dean would do anything for stood before him and he ached all over from too many memories in his head. Sam eyes grew concerned and he looked at Dean, "Are you alright?" Sam asked.

Dean looked at Sam for a long time, "Let's hit the bar, I feel like a few rounds," and he walked past Sam to the Impala and got in.

Sam looked at the motel room door as Basira opened the door. She crossed her arms and looked past him to Dean. "I won't follow this time, but I will know if he's in any danger," her eyes glittered darkly at Sam, "Can I trust you to take care of him?"

Sam stood up straighter and glared at Basira, "He's my brother, do you even have to ask?"

"So much of history is littered with betrayal that came from those who had the face of familiarity. That the bonds of kin and blood should bind together loyalty, but bred deceit instead." She closed her eyes as her body seemed to weigh too much, "I am putting my trust in Dean and he puts his in you, just don't fail him."

"You don't know anything about my brother or me," Sam hissed at Basira as he started toward the Impala.

Basira looked toward the sky above before entering the room and closed the door her as she whispered, "I just wish I didn't Sam, I wish I didn't at all."


End file.
